Artie is either on a bus or robbing a business when each story begins. There are buses, limos, alleys, and always, beautiful women involved in the first paragraphs. I didn’t plan on the busses, limos, and alleys when I started writing the series. But I think they worked in each story and worked with a series. Here’s the first line from each story. Do they draw you in, or do I need to work on my first lines?
Artie and the Long-Legged Woman: Artie watched with horror as first one beautiful leg emerged from the white limousine and then an equally gorgeous leg followed.
Artie and the Brown-Eyed Woman: The scream brought Artie to the window.
Artie and the Red-Headed Woman: The bus bucked and came to a stop in the middle of the street.
Artie and the Green-Eyed Woman: Artie Applegate stepped into the dark alley and closed the jewelry store door behind him, his hands still gloved.
Artie and the Big-Footed Woman: Artie tightened the grip on his athletic bag as the bus jounced over another manhole cover.
The good news is that all stories now available in a “bundle.” It includes the first four previously published stoies and the bonus last one, “Artie and the Big-Footed Woman.” If you buy it through Untreed Reads, the publisher, you get a free bonus short story, “Going Where the Wind Blows.”
Also available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble now, and other places soon, like Kobo.
These first sentences do draw the reader and make us want to know more about Artie and what he’s up to. Congrats on the new publication.
Thanks for saying this, Jacquie. You know how us writers are. Always a bit insecure about what we’ve written. This exercise is making more conscious about the need to nail that first line!
Works for me, Jan. Good job.
John, thank you so much for writing about first lines over at Motive Means Opportunity. Your post inspired mine. Upcoming–the first lines from my novels. I’ve been aware of need for good first lines for a long time, of course, but your article brought it to the forefront, and I vow to pay more attention from now on.
You have very intriguing first lines–lots going on.