Tag Archives: description

CONTEST TO WIN MY UPCOMING SUSPENSE NOVEL

Today I need your help. My next book is almost ready to be published. I have written three descriptions and have to choose one for the back cover and to put up everywhere it’s needed. Because this novel, BLACKOUT, has two main characters and switches between their points of view, I wrote one from each viewpoint, and one that includes both.

COVER BY DEREK MURPHY

Please pick the one you like best and “vote” in the comments section of this blog. Cutoff is midnight Wednesday of next week. I will have a drawing for the winner, who will receive a copy of BLACKOUT as soon as it’s published. The winner can choose between a Kindle edition, a PDF file, or a trade paperback, signed copy. Check my blog next Friday to see if you’re the winner and get in touch with me privately about what version you would like and where to deliver it to.

Now for the descriptions:

1. Two VPs:

Who is Alice Strong? Even Alice doesn’t know the answer to that question. Her life seems to have begun as she walked along a dark, lonely road. She got lucky when a nice young man picked her up and delivered her to the home of a woman in Valleyview, California, who takes in lost souls. Alice knew enough to claim she’s eighteen, but for reasons unclear even to her, she won’t admit to anyone that she’s lost her memory.

Betty Cranston, director of nurses, reluctantly hires Alice to work at Merry Hills Nursing Center, only because she needs aides desperately. She’s surprised at how agitated Alice becomes when she finds a dead patient. After all, people die in nursing homes on a regular basis. But Betty doesn’t like the way the resident is posed with her hands folded on her chest, as if laid out for her funeral. When two more are discovered in the same manner, Betty is convinced someone is murdering her patients. She hates the fact she’s begun to suspect certain people, including Alice Strong. With her own mother a resident, Betty’s worries increase and a desperate measure is taken to catch the killer in action.

Bit by bit, Alice remembers pieces of her life before her blackout. As she does, the murderer makes a surprising move that puts Alice and Betty’s mother in jeopardy.  When the final memories tear into her, feelings of helplessness and sorrow become overwhelming. Will Alice have the fortitude to save both Betty’s mother and her own life?

 2.  Betty’s VP

Betty Cranston, director of nurses at Merry Hills Nursing Center, is happy with her job. She does her best to make sure the residents, including her mother, are happy and well cared for. Everything’s going great until, one after another, residents turn up dead, all posed as if laid out for a funeral.

Everyone is a suspect.  It could be the husband of one of the victims, the new girl, Alice, who’s suffering from amnesia, or one of the nurses turned “angel of mercy?” Betty’s unsure of what action to take–the police don’t believe there’s a threat and the nursing home wants to keep things quiet. Terrified for her mother and her own safety, Betty only knows she’s got to get to the bottom of this horror before somebody else dies, maybe even her own mother.

3. Alice’s VP

Who is Alice Strong? Even Alice doesn’t know the answer to that question. Her life seems to have begun as she walked along a dark, lonely road. She got lucky when a nice young man picked her up and delivered her to the home of a woman in Valleyview, California, who takes in lost souls. Alice knows enough to claim she’s eighteen, but for reasons unknown even to her, she won’t admit to anyone that she’s lost her memory. Reluctantly, she accepts a job at the local nursing home, and on the second day, discovers a dead woman. She knows she over-reacts, but can’t help herself. When yet another woman dies soon after, Alice becomes aware that the Director of Nurses, Betty Cranston, believes they are being murdered and that she suspects Alice. Alice begins to wonder if she might be the killer because she’s already lost her memory once. Could she be murdering patients without remembering?

Bit by bit, Alice puts together pieces of her life before her blackout and comes to understand her past. As she does, the murderer makes a surprising move that puts Alice and Betty’s paralyzed mother in jeopardy.  When the final memories tear into her, feelings of helplessness and sorrow become overwhelming. Will Alice have the fortitude to save both Betty’s mother and herself?

Now, please vote for #1, 2 or 3! Thanks for your help with this.

HOW TO STREAMLINE YOUR WRITING

Here are some ideas I gave another writer who asked how to cut down a piece that is too long for today’s market.

 tango edit cut by warszawianka -

How many characters does it have? Can any be combined into one character to do the job? Or cut entirely?

How many subplots does it have? For a novel over 90,000 words, probably too many. For a short story, zero is the correct answer almost one hundred percent of the time. (I’m talking about the average short story which is between about six and six thousand words.)

Is it too heavy on description–in today’s market, short is better, especially for short stories. Three lines maximum is often suggested as a good rule-of-thumb, but if you do fabulous descriptions, of course, you don’t want to limit yourself this way. Do be careful when writing short stories, though, not to have too many. Frequent readers usually expect short stories to be full of character and plot and little else, unless you’re writing literary fiction.

After looking at the big picture, you can go in and look at each sentence. Is it pulling its weight? Look for trailing phrases that can be cut. Often the words at the ends of sentences mean little or are redundant or obvious.

Next look at excess words, mostly modifiers, making the words they modify as strong as you can.

And if you’re done and still not down to where you need to be, either get someone who’s published to look it over and make suggestions, or hire a professional editor to do the job. Or both.